why do we resist life’s inevitable periods of change?

Change is an inevitable part of life that often presents us with new opportunities for growth and transformation. However it’s absolutely human nature to resist it, because the transition in the change disrupts the comfortable familiarity we have developed in ourselves, our lives and our way of being.

When we begin to realise that it’s time to move in a new direction (which is often foreign, unknown, uncomfortable and often an unclear path) - it challenges our sense of security and stability. It can create fear and uncertainty as we are forced to step into the unknown and venture outside our comfort zone (and hey, it’s called a comfort zone for a reason!).

Our resistance can also be influenced by our past experiences and conditioning, which may have taught us to fear failure and/or success and stick to what’s familiar rather than embracing the magic of the unknown. (Not to mention our open centres in Human Design, but that’s a whole other conversation!)

But it’s actually in these moments of resistance that we have the greatest potential for personal development and self-discovery. When we acknowledge and challenging our resistance, we can overcome our fear and embrace change as a catalyst for growth and new opportunities.

And we can make this easier, by following the same process that a caterpillar takes in in it’s journey to become a butterfly, a three step process of Metamorphosis.

how do we embrace the change?

I saw a quote recently about the transformation of the butterfly. It said:

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar".

Here's the thing. The caterpillar doesn't know it's going to turn into a butterfly - yet it still trusts the process. The goo part can feel messy. It can feel hard. It can feel clunky. It can even cause doubt as the uncertainty of the void extends out in front of you. We can lose faith. We can even turn back to familiar patterns and sabotage our growth.

When following our own process of metamorphosis - the first thing we have to do is dissolve the parts of ourselves, our lives, our work - that might have got us here, but won’t get us THERE. The caterpillar is not the same structure as the butterfly. It has to give up to go up, quite literally.

Although in the moment it can feel like destruction, it's actually the very thing that acts as a stabilising fuel for the next chapter of our evolution and expansion.

STEP ONE: DELIQUESCE

By definition, metamorphosis is 'a complete change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation by magic - a transformation into another way of life.'

In order for a caterpillar to turn into a butterfly, it's got to release its CURRENT structure in order for the process to complete. It liquifies - and that’s what deliquesce is. To become liquid. Part of what keeps us 'stuck' when it comes to our own evolution is the resistance and control we experience around letting go of what may have been, what might have worked in the past or the way we THINK it needs to look in the future.

So we first need to loosen up the neural pathways and dissolve some of the resistance in the mind to the change - and open up a more FLUID perspective on what this next season might have in store for you.

All we have to do is look to past evidence that other seasons of change we’ve experienced weren't a set back, they were a set up. They often end up shaping who we are. It might have even set you on the path that may inform some of the best parts of where you are now. With enough space between us and it, we can begin to see these times of transition as FOR us.

So why would this season be any different? What if instead of focusing on the fact the structure feels like it's breaking down...and shift the perspective to what is being REBUILT in its place? What if instead of feeling like you're stuck in the cosmic waiting room trying to force a door open, you see it as the TRAINING room? And if so - what is the possibilities of what you're being trained for? What expansion awaits you on the other side?

One of my favourite quotes is by Steve Jobs where he says 'you can't see the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking back'. This is where having faith that the dots WILL connect - but you don't need to see them ALL to move forward. So le't’s connect some of your dots.

Answer the following journal prompts:

What’s a time in the past where you navigated a transition and it worked out for your highest good?
Who were you in that process? What lead to it unfolding in a way that supported you?
Are there any parts of that process you can replicate now?
What needs to be released in order to move forward? Maybe it’s a belief, a habit or even something you might do well - but it’s no longer bringing you satisfaction or is keeping you stuck in what’s comfortable.
What are you beginning to notice about yourself in this season of life?
What’s the most important thing you’re learning right now as a result? How is this a gift?

Something that’s helpful to remember in this phase - development happens in the dark. Think about it - old film, a seed planted in the earth to come a plant, the caterpillar going into its chrysalis. This phase can sometimes be needed to shake us out of our comfort zone and illuminate the changes that need to be made and requires us to innovate and stretch ourselves into a new area of growth or direction. But remember, you’re planted - not buried. What if this was all training you for the next stage?

step 2: transform

Step one opened up the mind to new possibility to what this season could be FOR and began to dissolve the resistance around change...and in step 2 we bring that awareness into the body. When we use the example of the caterpillar undergoing its transformation - after it dissolves it builds a new structure. In order to build that structure, it requires the ideal environment (the chrysalis).

For us, yes this can be our physical environment - but it's also our BODY. Specifically, our nervous system and its capacity to hold the sensation of transformation (the contraction AND expansion). Breathwork is like a gym for our nervous system. It teaches the body to be with both and feel more comfortable in our capacity for what we can hold.

When we increase our ability to hold, we open ourselves up to MORE:

Comfort in being seen.
Safety in being fully self expressed.
Confidence in your capability.
Conviction in your path + your gifts.
Adaptability and resourcefulness.
Trust and belief in yourself.
Creativity, imagination + possibility.

Change is a constant. We're always going to be evolving. There's always going to be a new self emerging - which means we're always going to be moving through the cosmic birthing canal. Contraction > Expansion > Repeat.

But when we continue to cultivate stability within ourselves and able to hold ourselves through the emotions and sensations of life, we open ourselves up to our infinite potential. This is where we build a legacy identity - one that withstands the seas of change.

Use this guided breathwork practice before moving onto the final step in the process {you can also use this again and again to build stability in your foundation}.

step 3: revival

The word revival means a restoration to spiritual vigour. Which to me, is all about anchoring into the frequency of faith - which is created by moving courage in to action. This is where we trust that the wings we've built are going to hold us when we fly into the unknown of the next chapter of our growth. Our wings are created through reinforcing belief in ourself, a strong foundation and faith we'll be supported in the process.

Courage is actually the tipping point where we find out personal power. The good news? Courage doesn't need things to be perfect. It doesn't need you in full alignment. It doesn't need to feel like flow or ease. It's just a willingness to take ONE step forward and let that build momentum behind you.

Think about every every hero's journey in a movie - they didn't know what they were doing when they set out. They didn't know if it would work. They just had a strong enough why to hold them in faith and pick them up again to keep going. Again and again and again.

Use the journal prompts below where you begin to set up the frame of faith through some self enquiry:

What is it that you’re deep down afraid of that will happen? Make a plan for ‘what if’. Seriously, what’s the worst thing that can happen and what would you do if it did? Once the mind has a plan for the worst - you can move towards the best.
What is something you can celebrate yourself for that you’ve achieved in the past? This allows the mind to acknowledge the ways you can succeed.
What is something you didn’t know how to do in the past, but you figured it out? This allows the mind to reinforce your capability - no matter what happens, you have a 100% success rate of figuring it out (seriously, you have figured out everything from birth to now).
What is a challenge you’ve moved through previously - and what wisdom did you gain as a result? This shows the mind that each challenge holds a seed of wisdom. No matter what, you’re going to gain wisdom from taking the next step.
What’s one step you can take NOW to move outside your comfort zone and closer to being on the other side of the transition? It can be anything you like - but just take one step NOW. Action creates momentum and gets us unstuck. If you need a little courage or stability, go back and do the breathwork from step 2.

how you’ll ultimately benefit from embracing the change.

Embracing change can ultimately positively impact every aspect of our lives. We foster resilience and enhances our ability to navigate unfamiliar situations with confidence in the future. It opens doors to exciting opportunities. It allows us to explore different perspectives, gain diverse skill sets, and broaden our horizons, leading to enhanced creativity and innovation.

It also promotes a sense of flexibility and adaptability, which are essential qualities in our rapidly evolving world. Instead of fearing change, we can choose to see it as a nurturing cocoon for progress and improvement, empowering us to thrive. Change is inevitable, but you are a powerful agent of change yourself. If the caterpillar can go from goo to soaring with wings, so can you.

want a little help with this process? metamorphosis is designed for you.

Metamorphosis is for those seasons of life where you're navigating a rebirth. You're in the midst of change...you can sense it, you can feel it - but the clarity hasn't *quite* landed yet. This is the messy middle like the caterpillar that's dissolving into goo before it gets its wings.

This self-paced, three step experience is designed to walk you through the transformation process to release what is ready to be cleared, build solidity in your new foundation and leap into the next phase of your evolution. Each lesson has a video training + additional resources to support the process. You'll walk away with the tools to navigate your transformation, clarity on your next steps + the ability to action them. Get ready to fly.

Learn more

3 STEPS TO POWERFULLY NAVIGATE CHANGE